Luck? Nah, it's how you view it

I always tell people that I'm a lucky person. It's true. I am.  I have an amazing family, a kick ass, fun,awesome best friend, a gorgeous intelligent wonderful daughter and a drop dead sexy, thoughtful, fantastic man.

But I also believe that my luck has A LOT to do with the way I look at life. When bad things happen, I very rarely, if ever, think, why me? Why NOT me? Bad shit happens to people all the time. I am not immune.

Maybe my good luck is my ability to rationalize, find the logic, see the gray. When crappy stuff happens, I normally start with a conversation like this in my head:

Ah Crap.
This SUCKS!
Is it the end of the world?
no. (said in that belligerent 6 year old boy way, when his mother asks him if he turned out the light in the kitchen and he knows he has to go back in. pronounced more like NO-wah)
Could it have been worse?
OH yeah.
Can I change it?
Nope.
So, Let it go.
Done!

It works a ridiculous amount of the time. Because I believe in choosing your battles. There are things that happen in my life that I can't just "let go". When husbands leave you for another woman, you don't just "let it go" (although coming up with creative and destructive ways of revenge is VERY theraputic). When sisters die, you definitely don't just "let it go".

But I found that I have the emotional energy needed to cope with the big stuff because I don't sweat the small stuff. road rage? no thanks, takes too much energy and it's for nothing. Pissing and moaning about stupid things that people say and do at work? I may vent to a few of you poor souls for a bit, but then I'm done.

I can't remember a time when I have ever used the phrase (is it really a phrase??): FML.

There's something good that comes out of nearly everything. You just have to look for it, be ready, find it.
And if you're one of those people who has a long list of things you'd like to share, about all the horrible bad, not-let-go-able things that have happened in your life, I challenge you.

1. Find someone who has it way and obviously worse and put yourself in their shoes.
2. Try it. Just for a few days. Be an endless optimist. Smile when you feel like crying. Compliment someone. Be GRATEFUL. Do something philanthropic anonymously. Enjoy the full moon. Say you're sorry and mean it. Tell your loved ones that you love them every day.
3. Create your own luck, find the lesson or the good that comes out of the bad, and ALWAYS look for the gray.





PS-enjoying "special" pizza like kate and I did, helps :-)

Taking my own advice

Those of you who know me, know that I am always preaching about the gray. Find the gray! I could name at least two people who, right this second, are making a gagging sound and rolling their eyes even as their subconscious hears me type those words. I can't help it. I think it could solve all the world's problems. People are way too "all or nothing". Black and White. I prefer the middle.

Today is the sixth day after my sister Katie passed away. I had a sad dream about her last night and I'm having a sad morning. I'm not finding the gray this morning. Some people will cope with death by jumping to one extreme. Get back to work! Throw all the delicious funeral food away! Do cardio for 7 hours! Write every thank you note and embellish each person's handwritten name on the envelope with hearts and curlicues! Honor Kate's memory by volunteering for the SPCA, the NAACP, and the CIA, or whatever the hell other acronym foundation, can get their mind elsewhere.

I, however, have sadly gone to the other extreme. Shower? meh. I did that 4 days ago, why take another so soon? Clean house? That would just cause my body funk to dirty the couch and stand out in a piney fresh house. Write thank you notes? What if I just use words of appreciation in my Words with Friends games that I'm playing all morning while chain smoking in my pajamas on my 9th cup of coffee? Will they count?

So now that my face is all cracky like Joan Rivers when she tries to smile and my night shirt has hardened little patches of snotty salty tears, I think I'll take my own advice and look for that gray.

Kate isn't coming back. But I think she WOULD want me to be clean and happy and sane. Well, I know she would. I told people at her funeral service to honor her memory by loving each other. Everyone always says that you can't love someone else if you don't love yourself. How can I take care of my Hanna and my Chip and my MamaDonna  if I don't take care of me? So I won't do 7 hours of cardio (hahahahahahahahaaaaa!!!!) and I won't go on a caffeine driven house cleaning frenzy. But I'll find the nice middle ground. I'll get in the shower, write a thank you note or two and maybe honor Kate's memory with a game or two of her favorite, Word Mole.