Here is the lesson I'd like to give myself today:
Watch out
where you put your insecurities. Don’t burden others with them.
If Hanna
asks me for something that I cannot give her whether it’s because I can’t
afford it or it’s beyond my time limits or ability, I get annoyed that I have
to tell her no. I feel bad because I want to give the child everything and
telling her no, ever, goes against the feeling I have of wanting to give her
the world.
So I say no
in an irritated way.
That’s
silly.
She’s a
child. They ask for stuff.
I’m an
adult, I have to set boundaries and limits.
My job. Her
job. We have clearly defined roles. But my own insecurity about having to tell
her no, annoys MYSELF and I get short and huffy with HER.
If people
post on FB or send me texts or put pictures on instagram of themselves
accomplishing an incredible physical task such as running miles, losing tons of
weight, being the crossfityogaaerobicsrunningtriathaletekickboxing champion of
the world….I feel annoyed. I’m
overweight. I’m out of shape. This is my own fault and this is my own
insecurity. Why should I put my insecurity onto them? GOOD for that person and
let them brag about it. If it was so easy, I’d be doing it too. THEY did
something I HAVE NOT. They didn’t do something I CANNOT, but something I HAVE
NOT. If I don’t want the annoyed/jealous feeling, I should get off my large and
quivering ass and do the thing myself. But I should never say things to or
about someone for doing what I haven’t just because that’s MY insecurity.
It’s so easy
to burden others with your own insecurities. If I think about all the times I
get annoyed, angry, act like a jerk, say or think mean things, I can attribute
some or many of those times to my own insecurities. Even road rage. People are
idiots when they drive. I can’t change that. I can’t CONTROL that. There you
go. An insecurity. Not being in control (big one for a lot of people).
I think that
if people would just take a minute, step back, take a little stock into your own
mind, be rational, be HONEST, they might see that their behavior towards others
is really more of a reflection of themselves and not the action of the other
person.
