So I wrote a book and now I’m a paranoid schizophrenic. I’ve
published it myself on Amazon. Meaning you can only get it digitally. If you
have a Kindle you can read it on that. But there are so many ways around not
having a Kindle. My Aunt Ang has a Nook and she downloaded the free Kindle app
onto her Nook and read it that way. If you have a smart phone or a tablet or an
iPad or anything with internet you can download the Kindle app or even a free
eReader from Amazon.
But you can’t hold the book in your hands and read it.
Because I’m too impatient? Because it isn’t good enough? Because the world just
doesn’t realize the amazingness of it all yet? Because you just can’t.
I’m ecstatic. I’m giddy!!! It’s truly the moment of all
moments in my life! Isn’t it? Did I make a mistake? I sent it out to agents and
got rejected. A lot. But everyone does right? (really, they do. Really.)
And then I read an article about the way writers are taking
their own fate into their own hands and “making it happen!” woohoo! So I did
it. I stopped hating on digital books. I embraced my Kindle. I love the thing!
(do you believe me yet?) (more importantly, do I believe me yet?) I sent it to an editor for some developmental
editing. I tortured my BFF Asha into helping me do copy editing (which I am
very very terrible at doing so if you try to make sense of the comma situation,
you will probably go cray).
I paid someone to create my cover (lysyee of 99designs). And
I did it. But should I have done it? Is it good enough (this is rhetorical!!!)
?? And here goes my brain:
Duh! Of Course it’s good enough. It’s brilliant.
Oh God it’s so awful. It’s smut. It’s garbage. Everyone will
hate it.
Now that’s just being silly. SOME people won’t hate it.
They better not because it’s so good!
What does it matter? Who did you write it for?
Shhhhh. Mom, your voice inside my head isn’t welcome in this
convo.
She has a point.
I wrote it for the world so the world needs to love it!
You know how asinine that statement is right?
Yes. Fine. Some will like it some won’t.
Ok. Good. Conversation over. I’m ok.
But there were only 2 downloads yesterday and no new reviews
for a week you know…..
Gahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!
And just writing this all down has helped me realize I’m
being nuts. I’m stepping away from the amazon author report page.
Will it be a printed, real, hold in your hands and turn the
pages book one day? Hopefully. If not, it still came from me. I did it. I DID
IT! Take that schizophrenia!!!!
Here’s the link if you don’t know already (or haven’t seen
it the nauseating number of times I’ve talked about it on facebook or twitter
or instagram). You can read sample chapters on amazon too!
I’m going to go and keep working on book #2. To start this
whole process all over again. What’s the definition of insanity again??
